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Joke of the Day

"She's got a great personality! It's the other 6 personalities that I'm worried about...."

"What does the First Lady say to the President during sex? ""Oh yeah! Yeah! Do me in my Oval Orifice~!"""

"I'm a vegetarian. Subway gave me a Chicken Club. Oops, wrong sub."

"When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years."

"4 y.o: I used the potty. Can I have a treat? Me: No. You always go in the potty 4: I can stop Me: Apparently I negotiate with terrorists"

"Autocorrect doesn't recognize my gangsta nature."

"What do I say when my favorite spice knocks on the door? Cumin!"

"Diff Good Girl & Bad Girl What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home."

"If a velociraptor is running.. and he speeds up, does he become an acceleraptor?"

"IF you feel cold if you ever get cold just stand in a corner for a bit. they are usually around 90 degrees."