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Joke of the Day

"eBay is so useless I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches."

"What's miley cyrus's favourite color? twerkquoise"

"What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese? I didn't cottage in my pants"

"""Rapunzel! Let down your hair!"" RAPUNZEL: Hey hair, ya wanna go get ice cream? HAIR: Yeah! RAPUNZEL: Well too bad. Because we're not."

"How do you seperate the men from the boys? A crowbar."

"I became a proud dad today. He's four but he was a boring little shit for the first three years."

"What's the best part of sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"I dislike the word ""kidnapping""... I prefer ""surprise adoption""."

"Boys are like bras.. They are cute and supportive until you use them too long and then they fall apart... ...also that's when the support ends"

"This Christmas I got a new car for my wife. I thought it was a great trade."