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Joke of the Day

"My dad is 100% Swedish and this was his favorite joke to tell waitresses when we went out to eat. Waitress: Are you all finished? Dad: No, I'm not Finnish, I'm Swedish."

"what if you looked as good as your best selfie all the time wouldnt that be wonderful"

"Somebody should open an arcade called The Jungle, and hire Axl Rose to welcome the customers."

"What has webbed feet and fangs? Count Quackula."

"I have ebola. AMA"

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar It was tense."

"I bet even Kanye West occasionally looks in the mirror and thinks ""That was kind of silly, what I just did."""

"What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley? The position of the dirtbag."

"Blind friend and a cheese grater I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read."

"I appreciate the transparency Domino's pizza tracker provides, but updates like ""Carl dropped your pizza"" & ""5 second rule"" are a bit much."