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Joke of the Day

"Why do Jihadist Muslims drink only instant coffee? Because they completely hate the French press. (Reposted)"

"Calling your baby ugly makes me rude? How about you making me look at your ugly baby makes YOU rude."

"My kids never finish their dinner because they're saving room for bath water."

"People who say ""Don't shit where you eat"" have clearly never heard of Chipotle"

"""Who are we?"" ""Women!"" ""What do we want?"" ""We don't know!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Now!"""

"If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a shark with gastritis that keeps throwing up people until they all have fun on the beach."

"Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away? A: Root position cords."

"I never understood why being called an Einstein is bad. It's only relatively insulting."

"Whars long ha nuts on either sude and has an asshole around the corner The hallway in the mental hospital i just I just escaped"

"What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women."