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Joke of the Day

"Parenting Tip: Wear clothing with pockets so you can flip off your children inconspicuously."

"What do Comcast and a bunch of ferrets named Jenny have in common? They're both a pretty shitty business."

"I have never in my life tried to pronounce an L so hard than when asking my dad for the ""caulk"""

"Have you heard about the Flint, Michigan football team? Their lead is unstoppable!"

"Dad cooks deer for dinner and doesn't tell the kids what it is... He gives them a hint ""It's what your mom calls me"" The kids respond ""It's a fucking dick, don't eat it"""

"At first my business of selling airplanes struggled quite a bit But then it took off."

"[The Price is Right Wheel-O-Fate stops on the symbol] DREW: ooh that's 8 days in the hole CONTESTANT: what? [hole opens in the ground]"

"What do women and computers have in common? You only learn to appreciate them when they go down on you for the first time."

"I went to see a Doctor today and apparently I'm a Paranoid racist!?! Well he didn't say anything actually.....But i knew the Black Cunt was thinking it."

"While vacationing in Turkey a second time, I couldn't keep the Arabic names straight, but I saw many familiar fezzes."