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Joke of the Day

"Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer"

"Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet."

"I want to name my computer ""Dat Ass"" So every so often my computer will ask me if I want to Back Dat Ass up."

"""OUI!!"" -French Canadian on a water slide."

"People say that sex ed classes in America are uncomfortable. But I think that history classes in Germany are worse. ""Hey kids, you'll never guess what your grandparents did..."""

"Your momma so fat... Yo momma is so fat when she is playing Pokemon go she can see all pokemons on her cell phone"

"What do you call Whoopi Goldberg after sex? A Whoopi pie."

"Wall, you may have ears but you're pretty useless without a mouth and eyes, aren't you? Wall?"

"I had a parrot that talked . . . but it never said, ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"Seeing your ex go through what they put you through. Priceless.."