229045
Joke of the Day
"What's a cats favorite firearm? A meowser"
Next Joke
"Lawyer: ""Let me give you my honest opinion."" Client: ""No no. I'm paying for professional advice."""
"What is the opposite of /r/upliftingnews? /r/news"
"To back up his ""every action has an equal and opposite reaction"" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying ""no it doesn't"""
"What's the difference between a male lawyer and a male prostitute? A male prostitute charges $20."
"I love dead baby jokes. They never get old."
"I get a lot of mental exercise by thinking up exotic ways to avoid physical exercise."
"I cannot even fathom how deep the snow is back east! Get my drift?"
"Whenever I lose my micrometer I use my dick."
"If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?"