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Joke of the Day
"What do clouds want to be when they grow up? -Thunderstorms"
Next Joke
"I want to break up. It isn't you. It's a me...mario!"
"idk about you but I still remember what I was doing when I found out Kennedy had been shot: sitting at home, reading the JFK Wikipedia page"
"You Know You're Southern When... You know you're southern when your town has more syllables than letters."
"The Woods So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy ""Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared,"" Man ""How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."""
"If it looks like a duck & swims like a duck & talks like an angry duck policeman, then you about to fail a sobriety test son"
"What's green, fuzzy, has four legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and landed on you? A pool table"
"""Don't put it on my plate if you don't want me to eat it!"" - me to my kid, who's crying because I ate the playdoh burger he put on my plate"
"A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar... The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, ""Beat it, guys!"" ""We don't serve food!"""
"My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets."