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Joke of the Day
"That which does not kill me... should run."
Next Joke
"""The most comfortable place to put your elbows at dinner is on the table, so I'm gonna go ahead and make that bad manners."" -Some asshole"
"This humid weather reminds me of New York in the 80's Muggy."
"What idiot called it a meal of light colored carnival bus tickets of appropriate price and not a fair fair fair fare fare"
"What do you call it when you go down on a paraplegic? Meals on wheels"
"You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my icecream. My point is, you're worthless."
"A kid next to me at Starbucks says I smell like his dad. I'm like 'Well, your Dad's an alcoholic. Scram!'"
"*Throws all 900 baby items in garbage* *Buys Magic 8 Ball* *Whispers*, This is how we raise you now."
"Disclaimer: My jokes are not always based on true events. Use as directed. Side effects may include genital swelling & loss of lunch."
"Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped? Demeter wasn't working."