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Joke of the Day

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name But Imma call you ""Hal"" for short, 'k, Chief?"

"My Jewish mate has been with his Tourette's suffering girlfriend for years now. I always wondered what kept them together. Then I saw the swear jar."

"When I went away for a lengthy business trip my wife and kids threw a big party... According to the email."

"How to get laid. A guide. Steps: 1. Lay on Bed 2. Wait 2 hours 3. Lay becomes past tense."

"What did the eggs say when the cops showed up? Everybody scramble!"

"what do you mean you can't deliver pizza to a pillow fort"

"Giving my liver a Rocky Balboa style pep talk"

"Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween confused? Because: 25 DEC == 31 OCT Merry Christmas Fellow Nerds! :)"

"What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth Hurty!"

"What is black, autist and takes about 9 months to grow. Non of your concern."