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Joke of the Day

"Best pickup line ever Girl are you a gorilla exhibit because I'm about to drop a baby in you?"

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time-consuming."

"When do the leaves begin to turn? The night before a test."

"Horrible news. My nephew was on a bus traveling on a foggy mountain road in Chile. Then he got those big stupid disks put in his earlobes."

"What tree gives the best high-fives? A PALM tree!"

"Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to ""Brandi from the club"" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM"

"What do the Post Office and a shoe store have in common? Thousands of brown loafers"

"The consensus after the election is that 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their minds."

"Everyone lies on their resume but I fear I may have gone overboard with 'immortal' and 'shoots lasers from eyes' and 'hardworking'."

"Just ate my toothbrush to clean those hard-to-reach places."