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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the 13th century french dog that was a saint?... St. Bernard. Hiyooooooo."

"Lying on my bed struggling to squeeze into jeans The dog comes in to show emotional support ... followed by the cat, who came to judge."

"If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are ... you have small boobs."

"Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!"

"The year is 2057. iPhone 742 is released. The screen touches you."

"The 3 rings of marriage The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."

"I had Chinese German food Hour later I was hungry for power"

"Anyone who's ever stood in a busy McDonald's line at 10:29am not knowing what to get has been closer to getting murdered than they realize."

"My bloodtype is really disappointing. My doctor keeps saying ""be positive""."

"Why is a beer like a woman? After you drink one you can't shut up or drive."