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Joke of the Day

"I hate myself a little for this... What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! ...Nah, just kidding! *He still hasn't unwrapped his present!!!*"

"what do you call a black guy that flies airplanes? A pilot you fucking racist!"

"If the first piece of advice from any life coach isn't ""avoid bears"" you're being scammed."

"What do you call the accidental nuclear bombing of a furniture plant? Chairnobyl."

"I was at the beach and the lifeguard blew his whistle at me. Dude, I'm 40. I'm not listening to a teenager in a bathing suit."

"Girls with huge boobs will never know if they're really interesting."

"I thought Instagram was a cocaine delivery service."

"What is a snakes favourite opera ? Wriggletto !"

"I've agreed so much with my wife that my head just starts nodding at the sound of her voice."

"My favorite thing about camping is when I stay home & don't."