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Joke of the Day

"Apparently Bill Clinton is so sure that Hillary is going to win that he stopped at the tobacco store and bought a box of cigars. He has interviews scheduled for his new interns all day."

"Man of Steel question. When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be? Liberace?"

"HER: I hate you ME: Hate is such a strong word [cut to hate benching 300 lbs] HATE: *whispering* I will be the strongest word ever"

"A man suffering Crohns Disease who speaks to the deceased is currently fornicating with his obese wife. he's a small medium in large."

"According to HR, white people aren't issued a race card, and they'd appreciate if I went back to my desk. *shrugs*"

"What did the pumpkin pie say to the cheesecake as they were going into the oven? I think this is a set up!"

"How long does it take to drive across France? 3 days by panzer"

"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" 384 my liege ""Ok, round them up"" 400 my liege"

"A blind person, and girl drop into a well Girl says: It's so dark in here, don't you agree? Blind guy: Sigh* Girl: Oh so you're deaf too."

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty bastards."