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Joke of the Day

"A guy barges into a psychiatrist's office, and screams... ""Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!"" The doctor calmly answers ""Pay me in advance"""

"Telling a woman that you want to ""rock her body"" means something completely different in Pakistan."

"My 2-year-old ate the crust off her pizza but left the cheese and pepperoni untouched. Apparently I'm raising the Antichrist."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Black and made by my dad."

"My super buff friend told me he never uses any fitness supplements... I didn't believe him and said ""no whey?"""

"What's the difference between an epileptic farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? The farmer shucks between fits."

"Why don't pirates ever stop going to brothels? They can't get enough booty."

"Don't be that guy that tells people not to be ""that guy."""

"A zero and an eight are walking in a desert... and the zero asks the eight ""aren't you too hot with that belt on?"""

"For an extra $20, you can purchase a mountain bike instead of a Kia."