22779

Joke of the Day

"A Lion Air flight which overshot a runway in Bali crash landed in the ocean Saturday... and now it's just Lion there."

"Why was the two-dimensional emo sad? Because nobody would ever know how deep he was."

"My dick is like and old antenna television... ...it takes a pair of needle nosed pliers, and a few smacks from my father to get turned on."

"Boss: what should we call the lower cabinet in the corner that swivels? Bonnie (who hates Susan): I have an idea."

"My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska. He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait."

"A new type of broom has just been released, It is sweeping the nation."

"I've just made a meeting site for retired chemists It's called Carbon Dating"

"I told my son that I found his hamster. He was ecstatic. Until I said it was in the vacuum cleaner."

"Him: Are you gonna kill me? Me: WHAT? Him: Your mood swings. I figured today's the day I die. Me: Him: *whispers* Please don't hurt me."

"If you show up to a job interview high and tired... You're hired!"