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Joke of the Day

"You'd be surprised how many strangers will let you hug them when you approach with open arms & a big smile. None. I've been stabbed 3 times"

"Wrinkle Cream My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. ""What are you doing?"" she asked. ""Putting on my wrinkle cream,"" I answered. ""Oh,"" she said, walking away. """

"I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife ""you said you wanted the biggest one right"" Because I'm a great husband"

"How is a NASA Shuttle similar to Sex with Your Mother? ... They both burn on re-entry."

"What has four legs, feathers, and can fly? Two birds"

"What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed? Alpaca bowl!!!"

"My husband and I are trying to set up a new password for our computer. My husband puts, ""Mypenis,"" and I fall on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, ""Error. Not long enough."""

"If I had a talking shark for a sidekick, I'd probably get into more deep sea shenanigans."

"My new thesaurus just came in Not only is it terrible but it's also terrible"

"Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach."