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Joke of the Day

"What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once ? I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !"

"I love to purposefully mispronounce French words, but you need to do it around the right people, otherwise they act like its a huge fox pass."

"How I wear a scarf: 1. Take scarf and drape it over my shoulder 2. Find an annoying co-worker and choke them to death with it. 3. Repeat"

"I got a black girlfriend now. I burned my hand on the stove."

"What is ET short for? So he can fit in the spaceship."

"What's the worst present you could give a black person? Cotton Scented Hand Lotion"

"Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more."

"Amy Winehouse is getting Botox injections? Really? Isn't that a bit like spraying Febreze on a pile of dog crap?"

"When life gives you melons... ...you probably have dislexia."

"6 year old wouldn't drink out of my cup because she doesn't want my ""DNA"". Should I tell her?"