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Joke of the Day

"Porn is so unrealistic. There's no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice."

"There's been four dudes wandering around our local cemetery all morning. I think they've lost the plot."

"I work in a deli and put my cock in the bagel slicer. I got fired... ... and so did she."

"Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak."

"In a progressively incestuous household... ...it's about upping the auntie"

"How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?"

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear sea shells? Because D shells are too big and B shells are too small."

"If I learned anything from Aladdin it was that if u just keep lying to a girl eventually u will get to marry her and live at her dad's house"

"When everyone was giving apples to their teachers, I was the one giving cucumbers... Still to this day, Mr. Smith won't look me in the eyes."

"I'm going to sell John Lennon memorabilia online. Imagine all the PayPal."