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Joke of the Day

"The England team won't be voting in the referendum They can never find the box let alone put a cross in it."

"Look at your disgusting balls. That's LITERALLY exactly what Jesus wants them to look like. #Bible"

"Listen, I'll play that funky music if you ask me in a nice, non-derogatory way."

"Perhaps the greatest fashion revolution was moving the pads from the shoulder to the bras"

"Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back."

"INTERVIEWER: strengths? ME: I'm good at presenting both sides of an argument INTERVIEWER: great ME: which could also be a weakness..."

"When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date."

"What do you call a woman with six kids? Lucy"

"This week's weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs."

"What did the pirate say to the flying prostitute? Land ho!"