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Joke of the Day

"If you see a profile pic with 1 fat girl and 1 pretty girl and can't figure out who's profile it is, make no mistakes... it's the fat one's."

"When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say ""Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."""

"Why did the boy throw a clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly."

"Alice is travelling at a speed of light.. when a traffic police pulls along side and asks her name, she says she is alive."

"Pornhub titles always lack depth, and imagination. Yes, we know college girl tries anal for first time, but whats her major? Her dreams?"

"Different cultures like eating animals that we consider pets... For example, did you know that in Japan, they eat fish?"

"Me: *delivers fantastic presentation* Fish Boss: great work! Me: thanks for letting MINNOW what you think! Fish Boss: you're fired."

"Told my kid he better not steal another candy bar cuz ""we don't have time to get arrested"" if you're looking for a parenting role model."

"Dear Liver: The holidays are almost over. Come on you can do this!"

"Why do women prefer old gynecologists? Their shaky hands!"