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Joke of the Day

"A 65 year old actress with early Alzhiemer's got a Botox shot, and later regretted it. She couldn't remember her lines."

"I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language... ...entirely out of tattoos."

"Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind it stinks!"

"When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, ""No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."""

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar and one looks to the other and says ""man, I can't believe I blew 40 bucks in there."""

"chinaman goes to see the eye doctor so a chinaman goes to see and eye doctor, having problems seeing. doctor says ""ah i see the problem, youve got a cataract"" chinaman says ""no i drive a rincorn"""

"Jewish kid asks his Grandpa for money Grandson: Hey Grandpa, can I have 30 dollars? Jewish Grandpa: 20 dollars?? What do you need 10 dollars for?!"

"Not quite feeling myself today. I'm going to see if booze helps..."

"What did the Buddhist monk say to the pizza guy? Make me one with everything."

"My Girlfriend is doing majors in Physics Yesterday she texted me she needs time and distance. I dont even know why she wants to calculate the velocity"