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Joke of the Day

"Did I ever tell you about the time I went to the doctor to get my blood type when I was super depressed? He said B Positive"

"Why cant stormtroopers be fathers? Because they shoot blank and always miss Edit: Can't*"

"How do you make a handkerchief dance? You put a little boogie in it!"

"How does Jackie Chan karate chop things over there? AYA!!"

"If you don't order beef for dinner... That's a missed steak."

"Why do dogs lick their dicks? Because they can."

"Batman vs. Superman 2: Bruce Wayne spends millions secretly bankrolling a decade of lawsuits that bankrupt The Daily Planet."

"What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger? One was fired, the other was terminated"

"What's the difference between a bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean"

"My wife said that my pen!s closely resembles a Tic Tac. She was proud of her remark until I asked her why her sister still has bad breath then."