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Joke of the Day

"Math Poor kid asks his dad: ""Are we going on holiday this summer?"" Dad replies: ""50% yes, 100% no."""

"Its funny how guys always say they would give their left nut to do something awesome. Why is the right nut so much cooler than the left nut?"

"How many chains does it take to enslave a black person in the twenty-first century? Two Chainz."

"Why can every black person run so fast? Because the slow ones are in jail."

"A man that recently turned blind stabbed himself because he couldn't see the point anymore."

"""My microwave is broken"" -Abraham Lincoln"

"What's red and is bad for your teeth? A brick"

"Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds."

"Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: [slams fist on dash] NO, WHY?! Cop: Settle down sir Me: [marries, has kids, gives up ambitions] Cop: ..."

"A programmer's wife sends him to the store and says ""get some bread, and while you're there pick up some eggs."" The programmer never returns."