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Joke of the Day
"The hoodie & shorts combo outfit, because you almost understand how body heat works."
Next Joke
"Sex with me is like bowling. Lots of drinking and cursing. Sticking your fingers in weird holes. You have to rent shoes."
"The best way to respond when a girl asks you if she's fat is to fake a seizure."
"Why did the german die from his injuries Because when his friend asked if there is a number to call incase of emergencies like this, he replied ""999""."
"A good rule of thumb is It's opposable."
"ME: If home is where the heart is, I guess I live under a canopy of bloody bones. DMV WORKER: I'm not putting that on your license."
"What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other? I didn't know we lived on the same block."
"It must be hard to be the fat kid in your classroom... And must be even harder for Kim Jong Eun, who is the only fat kid in his country."
"Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes* Well that sucked."
"850: Number of nukes Sarah Palin would have dropped on North Carolina in the last few hours if she were President. #korea"