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Joke of the Day

"DOCTOR TO PATIENT JOKE Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!"

"Happy 12th birthday to Google. Only one year left to use it, dears! When it becomes a teenager, it won't answer anything."

"Just saw a kid go down a slide looking at an iPhone. End of the world or multi-tasking?"

"What is ISIS's favorite mathematical operation? Square Root. Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized."

"It costs more to make a penny than a penny is actually worth. I don't get, why do we make the penny? It doesn't make any cents. Thanks, I'm here all night."

"Took a whole week for my neighbor who only watches the Discovery Channel to realize thieves had replaced his TV with an aquarium."

"What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is green !"

"What do you call a man with no shins? Tony."

"An environmentalist group found a place with the world's highest recycling rate... /r/Jokes"

"What is a specimen? An Italian astronaut."