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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Middle Eastern man not want his daughter to go on a date with a boy from school? He was afraid she would come home stoned."

"If I had a dollar for every gender there is... I'd have two dollars."

"Q: What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? A: Are you my mother?"

"Two aquatic mammals just broke up. They wanted to sea otter people."

"""Is this InkJet any good?"" ""Sure we've sold it to royalty"" ""Princesses?"" ""Mate, it prints ALL the letters"""

"My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say 'It's so cold out!' and I say 'It's winter' and then we silently hate each other."

"I just heard Hillary Clinton got a shoe endorsement It's from Flip Flop"

"Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And then a table, and then a stool."

"Why can't the T-Rex play the piano? Cause they're dead!"

"My top 5 exercises: -jumping to conclusions -flying off the handle -carrying things too far -dodging responsibilities -pushing my luck"