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Joke of the Day
"Two biologists have twins. They named one Jessica, and named the other Control."
Next Joke
"You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart."
"My aunt Marge.. My aunt Marge has been ill for so long I've started thinking, ""I can't believe she's not better.."""
"Hey people who say ""look at our new baby"", thanks for clarifying that because my initial reaction was to ask where you got the used baby"
"Give a pilgrim some corn... He eats for a day, teach a pilgrim to grow corn... He kills your people and takes your land."
"[sex in car] ME: Remember when you could do this without fear of strangers watching? BF: Yes UBER DRIVER: Would you like a water?"
"I discovered the number one reason OP never delivers. #"
"Me: excuse me, but I can't taste the alcohol Clerk: all smoothies are non alcoholic here. Me: YOU SHOULDN'T CALL YOURSELF A BAR THEN!"
"What did the Kiwi say to the Jew? Hee broo"
"What's blue and sings alone? - Dan Ackroyd."