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Joke of the Day

"I choose toothpaste NOT recommended by dentists... those sneaky tooth-fiddlers have a lot to gain from promoting one that doesn't work."

"My girlfriend messed up baking a tart She was to re-tart it"

"What snakes are good at sums ? Adders !"

"Him: You're married? Me: Well, it's Thursday. So, yeah. Him: What about on Friday? Me: Depends how Thursday goes."

"Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat."

"If I ever met a Space Alien, I'd resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy."

"Before my girlfriend moved in I always had one night stand Now that things are getting serious we have two night stands"

"There's a German butcher around the corner from the hospital... ...just in case someone takes a turn for a wurst."

"What did the teenage boy who was jerking off in his room say when his mother called? One second mom, I'm coming!"

"If your name is Willis then you automatically have no idea what the fuck you're talkin bout."