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Joke of the Day

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra That's the joke"

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"The moments I'm not eating are somewhat torturous."
"Stabbed myself in the eye with a yellow pen and now everything looks all Instagramy."
"2 weeks sober. I'm 2 weeks Sober, Unintentionally. Now I'm sitting here wondering why good things happen, to bad people."
"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them."
"Women think about sex every 7 seconds. Just not with you."
"Recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%. I've done the maths. I am immortal."
"What is the difference between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs"
"A local policeman did a talk on heroin It was impossible to understand him"
"What does Mr. Miyagi do while Daniel-san waxes the car? He wax off."