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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend claims my puns don't make any sense. She says they're un-BEAR-able."
Next Joke
"COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus? ME: No COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier ME: Thanks COP: Why is it wet? ME: Um COP: And holding 8 guns?"
"I'm kinda terrified for 2015 2 + 0 + 1 + 5 = 8. The EXACT number of nipples Hitler would've had if he had 6 more nipples!"
"If you want people to get mad at you, just say that your not going to care about you're mistakes."
"*sees lawn gnome cartwheel into room* *calls to renew prescription*"
"If you slap a christian girl on the ass... Would she turn the other cheek?"
"I don't see what's so offensive about calling someone from Pakistan a Paki... It's like calling someone from Scotland a Scot, an Australian an Aussie or someone from France a cunt"
"Relationship status table for one but drinks for two."
"What do you call a Greek arsonist? A "
"You know you're married when you find her sexier with clothes on."