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Joke of the Day

"So Donald Trump is running for President..."

"To celebrate this Valentine's Day beat your wife... In a friendly race down to the mall."

"I hate meeting new people. It's like sitting through a fucking job interview to apply for the position of ""acquaintance."""

"Why was Han Solo dissapointed in his Blow Job from Princess Leia? It was Chewy"

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know There was a long silence and then she said..... bastard"

"I see you as a glass half full you need me to fill you up"

"You know, I always really liked Meatloaf I've never had any beef with him"

"I was Saddam tired last night.... I slept like Iraq..."

"ME: I cant make it in today BOSS: again? why M: my car died B: that's the same excuse you used yesterday M: yeah but today's the funeral"

"chicken & KFC Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC? A: He wanted to see a chicken strip."