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Joke of the Day
"Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently."
Next Joke
"Proud of myself. I only ate 1 brownie today. I mean, it was cut up into 8 very large pieces and took up the whole pan but yeah, 1 brownie."
"Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey."
"What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids? A dislocated hipster."
"Naming my daughter ""A Relationship"" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her."
"Q. How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Nobody knows, there's no light."
"I'm launching an app that reads out nihilist quotes. It's aimed at a Nietzsche market"
"[sees kid crying at the mall] R u lost? [kid nods, wiping tears] Well [blows cigarette smoke in kids face] looks like u live at the mall now"
"What's a bigamist? It's a large fog in Italy"
"Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing."