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Joke of the Day

"Enhanced interrogation idea: If waterboarding isn't working, try having my mother brush their hair."

"My toddler was arrested today at kindergarten during nap time. He was charged with resisting a rest."

"If I start removing my earrings while maintaining eye contact, you're either in for the fuck of your life, or you'd better fucking run."

"My ex still misses me... Yesterday I narrowly dodged a .22 round discharged at long range."

"What did they call Hitler's limo driver? the Chau-fuhrer"

"Happiness won't just walk into your life on its own. But neither will unhappiness. So if you don't want trouble in your life... then you'd best stay still and never move a muscle."

"A dyslexic walks into a bra."

"When do you know that your career has gone south? When you end up moving to South Korea, of course!"

"A blonde gets an acceptance letter to Harvard ."

"Richmond's baseball team had midget wrestling last night, if anyone's looking for a city with rich culture and a progressive vibe."