226160

Joke of the Day

"NURSE: She's in a coma. She's been on hungerstrike [boyfriend walks in with just enough chips for himself] PATIENT: *Opens one eye*"

"I was thinking of making sperm-brand merchandise... ...because sex cells"

"Where do dead people buy their cigarettes? At the coroner store."

"My relationships are like a reddit safe pic. Starts off with great anticipations. No responses for a while. Then ends in empty promises and disappointment."

"I didn't use to eat babies. I still don't. I just didn't use to as well."

"Why do Java programmers need glasses? Because they can't C#."

"What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon at? Tennish."

"How did the rednecks find their sister? Pretty good."

"nicest girl - You're the nicest girl and prettier than I have known - You what you want is fuck me - Wow and smarter."

"""Waiter ! Have you got frogs' legs ? "" ""No sir I always walk this way"""