22616

Joke of the Day

"What do hard-working grocery store clerks get every year? A celery increase."

"GF: just FYI, my dad teaches at the Naval Academy [meeting her parents] ME: [lifting up shirt] does my belly button look weird to you?"

"What do you call a wolf once its found A there wolf"

"What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Graaaaaaiiiiiinnns"

"In All Fairness To Bellichick and Brady Balls do shrink when it's cold"

"A couple orders a pie at a luxury restaurant The husband eats 4/7 of the pie and the wife the rest. He paid 4.5$ more than her. How much did the pie cost? Answer in comments"

"Learning someone led a double life would hard to process because yes, they betrayed you, but wow, think about those organizational skills"

"Did you know the ninjas have gotten together and formed a union? They strike from the shadows."

"Why are my jokes strikingly similar to your sperm? They're killed almost instantly by assholes."

"Just snipped off a toddler's faux-hawk while his mom was in the bathroom at Starbucks, because I give a shit about the future."