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Joke of the Day

"They say you can find out what kind of person someone is by the porn they watch... ...turns out I'm a lesbian."

"I was recently asked my view on lesbians... In HD wasn't the answer they were looking for :/"

"I designed a website for orphans. There isn't a homepage."

"woke up to a tap on the door this morning had to call the plumber in to remove it"

"My girlfriend and my motorcycle have something in common. The faster I accelerate the ride, the more likely I am to break my crotch."

"I am in my truest form when the food comes at a restaurant and I side-eye plates, suspicious that everyone got more fries than I did."

"Bones - joke Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body? Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!"

"How do you get someone to pay child support? Blackmail."

"BREAKING: FBI discovers that Hillary's 30,000 deleted emails were all Facebook notifications from Biden tagging her on cat videos."

"The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside."