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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !"

"What's the difference between a straight mustache and a gay mustache? The smell."

"What do you call a duck with one leg A handiquack"

"I was simply stating that your crying child MIGHT fit comfortably in the overhead compartment, lady. #butseriously"

"I often use ""unnecessary"" quotation marks."

"I call my penis ""my aircraft carrier"" Because there are always seamen in it."

"I kept wondering why the Frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me."

"""I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life... ...What they don't tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning you juicer."" -Kyle Dunnigan-"

"What kind of ants are very learned ? Pedants !"

"As a 37 year old man, I feel like I should know how to spell Febuary."