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Joke of the Day

"I was simply stating that your crying child MIGHT fit comfortably in the overhead compartment, lady. #butseriously"

"Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons."

"Day two of the Insanity Workout. Half hour of talking to a lamp. Half hour of eating mulch. Fifty YouTube comments."

"If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin."

"What did the pig say when his wife left him? ""Don't go bacon my heart"""

"ok i'll bite.. what is Britain"

"TRUMP: I just killed & ate a homeless man MEDIA: You're a monster TRUMP: This sort of political correctness is what's ruining our country"

"What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? An amoeboo!"

"Why did the little boy throw the linen off the bed when he saw a ghost? He was scared sheetless."

"Facebook: A place for liars and braggers to unite."