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Joke of the Day

"I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy."

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"The designer of the generic ""Advice Animals"" font changed the internet. One might say he made quite an impact."
"There sure are a lot of hot Canadian chicks on Twitter....if I knew Canadian, I would totally hit on them."
"What are ducks' favorite drug? Quack."
"Dating is basically lying to women about how you like to travel."
"So my girl cheated on me and I said ""wanna hear an anti-joke?""... I love you"
"How did the Edward Impersonator annoy /r/jokes? He feigned ted."
"The trouble with jokes about herbal tea... Is that you can see the punchline camomile away."
"If green gummy bears are strawberry flavored, what is the flavor of yellow gummy bears? PHLEGMon"
"Being alone with my girlfriend on Easter. ""Jesus has risen . . . and so have I."""