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Joke of the Day

"So a Jewish boy walks up to his father... a Jewish boy walks up to his father and asks him for $5. His father responds: ""$4? What do you need $3 for? Here's $2, split it with your brother."""

"What do you call a waffle that burps too much? A belchin waffle."

"When someone asks if anyone has recommended Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to me Reddit already."

"I do not have an OCD over tidiness. I just wanted to clear that up."

"Teacher: What is the formula for water ? George: HIJKLMNO Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you ? George: Sure you said H to O !"

"Dad, quick, call me an ambulance! ""Okay, ambulance."" ^^^^^^sorry"

"I just overheard a co-worker announce she got tickets to a Nickelback concert. That's all, she was completely serious."

"(Real news) In Florida, a truck filled with $120,000-worth of chocolate was stolen. Police warn the thieves could be armed and PMSing."

"What do you call an expert that studies sign language? A signtist!"

"The Middle Ages Queen: Babe come to bed its late. King: Not until I can come up with a cool name for my soldiers! Queen: k night. King: holy shit you're a genius!"