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Joke of the Day
"Why did the libertarian cross the road? None of your goddamn business. Am I being detained?"
Next Joke
"What do you tell a mathematician if he does drugs? You're high-on-pot...enuse. Thanks Key&Peele, I'll see myself out."
"I'm not rich like Jack don't have a mansion like Russell or have a Porsche like Martin but I do love you and want to marry you. I love you too but what was that you said about Martin !"
"Elton John just launched a women's lingerie line.. ""And you can tell everybody this is your thong"""
"My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said ""Maybe"""
"Fill the pinata with goat intestines to teach children about the brutal consequences of violence."
"Jeffrey Tambor walks into a bar and spots Stephen Tobolowsky... He says, ""Have I seen you somewhere before?"""
"If the camera adds ten pounds.. Do African kids even exist?"
"Dis earing letters? There's an 'app' for that."
"please god what the hell did i do to deserve all this *flashback to 12 years ago when i threw a flashbang at my own team in CounterStrike*"