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Joke of the Day

"Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas? ...because they're still alive."

"What's the difference between a slab of meat and someone who hates high school students? One's protein, the other's anti-teen."

"If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one...?"

"Skrillex used to play string instruments in the orchestra, until he dropped the bass."

"It only took me one drink to get drunk... I just can't remember if it was the seventh or the eighth (George Burns)"

"What do you call a tea knight? A vigilan-tea"

"Worst things the parents do on Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza"

"If a douchebag bungee jumps is it called a Bro-Yo?"

"I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning and said ""It's a bit late for you Kathy, isn't it ?"". She said ""I couldn't sleep"". I said ""That's not what I meant, you fat b*tch""...."

"I'm not schizophrenic *yes he is*"