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Joke of the Day

"Art imitates life. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. So GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ART DEGREE!"

"I'm going to stand outside So if anyone asks, I'm out standing"

"Friend 1 ""hey dude what's your PSN name?"" Friend 2 ""did you just assume my platform!"""

"HOW TO JOG: 1. Put on jogging outfit. 2. Go outside. 3. Imagine a cow galloping down the street. 4. Try to milk that cow."

"A man goes to see a psychologist wear only plastic wrap on his whole body The psychologist says well I can see your nuts"

"My therapist told me that I'm bad at admitting my flaws. I am not!"

"What do you do if you're drunk and you run into your ex wife? Reverse to make sure."

"In ten years we'll replace man on the evolutionary chart with all the different sized iPods."

"If a man strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown yourself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him."

"r/jokes is like a guy with short term memory loss. No matter how many times you tell him the same joke, he'll still laugh like he's hearing it for the first time."