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Joke of the Day
"39 and 41 had a fight. 42. ... 41."
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"The one-legged man couldn't understand an online tutorial. It had step-by-step instructions."
"What do you call an owl who does magic? WHO-DINI"
"Nerdy Fairy Tale ""Grandmother, what big ears you have!"" ""Since I can't see you, I can at least hear you Infrared Ridinghood..."""
"This just in! You read this"
"Oliver Twist: ""Please sir, I want some more!?"" Manger: ""Kid, you do realize this is a buffet?"""
"I tell my boyfriend I love him all the time and all he says are things like ""make a left in 300 feet"" and ""you've reached your destination."""
"My dad just text me, ""I'm fleeing the cuntry."" I'm like, ""Wtf does that mean"". His reply? ""Your mom."""
"[date] ""don't let her know ur from twitter"" Her: whats wrong? Me: This fork only has 3 prongs Her: So? Me: it should be called a threek"
"I like to watch porn sometimes... ...just for the fucks of it."