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Joke of the Day

"Can't believe I've just been banned from using Match.com. Apparently ""My dick"", is an inappropriate answer to the question What do you want most in a woman?""."

"Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says""DING!"""

"You're the bomb A Muslim walks into an airport wearing the flashiest clothes, he meets a friend who shouts at him you're the bomb. Everyone sets of sprinting in all directions."

"My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place"

"Why didn't the USSR get anything done? They were Stalin"

"Q: What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A: A can't opener."

"Swimming is good for you. Especially if you are drowning."

"Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? A. Three if you slice them very thinly."

"Why did the existential nihilist cross the road? Who cares."

"Salad is the decaf of food."