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Joke of the Day

"What did the ninja say to the waiter when asked what to drink? The ninja replies with ""Wata!"""

"You think the dozen roses on my toilet tank are there to mask odor? Read the card: ""Dear toilet. I'm so sorry for all the shit I've done..."""

"If a white person eats a dessert and no one is around to Instagram it, did it even happen?"

"Do you remember that creepy girl who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!"

"Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life"

"Why did the chicken droid NOT cross the road? Because it had a bad motivator!"

"What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese"

"They call me the human Hoyer lift... because I'm good at picking up fat chicks."

"My wife's been missing for a week and the police said to prepare for the worst..... ...so I went to Goodwill and got all her clothes back."

"Not saying you're shady but there is a family of squirrels gathered around your ankles."