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Joke of the Day

"I forgot my hard hat when I went to the building site... Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks."

"You call it premature ejaculation, I call it being 15 minutes early."

"What do you call a electric Volkswagen? A **Volts**wagon"

"""We are the 1%!"" - People on MySpace"

"What did everyone do after the Super Bowl was over? Watch the second half."

"What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous wreck."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? . Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat"

"I actually like the smell of moth balls, but it's so hard to hold them still without hurting their little wings."

"Giving a woman an orgasm is like riding a bicycle. I always feel silly wearing a helmet."

"Why doesn't Popeye's serve spinach?"