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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part of running into your ex? You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged."

"What did the necrophile say when his girlfriend told him to be more romantic? ""You're dead to me."""

"What's the difference between eating at a restaurant and standing in a field of cows? I don't tip at restaurants."

"How do alien hunters keep from oversleeping? They SETI their alarm-y"

"i bet white supremacists just get off on the charcoal briquettes turning white."

"I want to die the same way I was born. Naked, screaming, and covered in blood."

"Kids are like farts The only ones you can stand are your own."

"Why did the dead baby cross the road Because I kicked it. Bonus wife is giving birth right now."

"There are so many uses for toilet paper rolls... but you have to go through a lot of shit to use them."

"Why does lanolin oil smell exactly like cow semen? don't ask me!"