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Joke of the Day

"How many disappointments can you fit into a van? I don't know, I can't get them outside of the house."

"Why does a fat man when squeezed compliment the ladies? Because the pressure makes him flatter."

"What's a pedophile do on a Saturday night? Netflix and chill-dren."

"Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe? They get Hungary so they go for Turkey."

"Q: Why does a dog wag it's tail? - A: No one else will do it for them"

"*makes 58008 on an abacus and turns it upside down* dammit"

"I asked my soap who it voted for, it said... I'd lather not say! note: This one came to me in the shower just now, gotta go back in now. Oh, the irony! I think. ~Skip"

"What do you call a lawsuit against a zombie? Deceased and desist"

"Ms. Pac Man is the biggest hoe in history For 25 cents she swallows until she fucking dies."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff [Ba dum tssshhh](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYppAs6ZdI)"